So…yeah. I saw this yesterday at Walgreens, in the super-special-magic-it’s-after-the-holiday sale aisle.
I don’t know how flattered I would feel if I was handed the sparkly “DIVA” heart candy, even if the intent was affection. And “GLAM?” Maybe if some David Bowie were playing in the background and I was channeling my inner Ziggy Stardust, but under normal circumstances….? No. Just no.
Sweethearts, you make me sad.
If Thedas had candy-grams, I’d like them to be something like this.
And so, this is my silly token of affection to Tumblr friends and followers alike.
I’ve been posting silly doodles lately with themes of love and lust, all in the spirit of Valentine’s Day, which is sort of funny since that’s never been a holiday that I have much fondness for. But I thought I would comment on it - because we’re inundated with all things red and pink before the inflatable Santas are taken off the shelves. And for ill or naught, we wind up affected by the flash and flair of advertised romance.
From childhood, we set ourselves up with lofty expectations. The day seems cute and innocuous enough - candies, cards, small tokens, etc. But early on, we start to base our worth, or some portion of it, on what we get. It comes down to numbers. If you’re the kid who only gets one or two Valentine’s cards in your entire class, you’re looked down upon. Something must be wrong with you, right? You’re unpopular, and since popular = good, your value plummets. You go home at the end of the day feeling the absence of *something.*
As we mature, we might manage to shake off that sort of qualification and standard, but that underlying foundation of expectation runs deep. A Valentine’s Day without gifts, or a partner, or a hint of romance in the air is socially enforced as something to be ashamed of. It’s a sad, pathetic state, something you would be loathe to admit to, even if a lustless day is something you truly desired.
And our media is plastered with affirmations of this mindset, from jewelry store ads disclosing the “secret to her heart,” to romantic comedies showcasing candlelit dinners and sultry gazes.
Granted, there’s nothing wrong with romance, with sensuality, with wanting a day/evening of tangled sheets and/or ganache on a plate. But so too, not having that, by circumstance or by choice, doesn’t cheapen a person or make him/her somehow less because he/she is “one” in a world that seems to be looking for an equation of “two.”
Looking back now over the Valentine’s Days gone by - I’ve lost a pet, I’ve been in relationships, I’ve been alone. I’ve had Februarys that I would care not to repeat, and 2nd months that held abundance. And given all that, given my weariness with being told by strangers how the day should be spent, I think that I now regard the holiday in this manner - that the day should be as much about the love you have to give as it is about the love you get.
Love is so multi-faceted, so rich and layered. While we may or may not have passionate trysts in our lives, there is plenty of love - deep, abiding affection and respect - to celebrate. Love of and for family, friends, heck…even for our fandoms. Love of life.
And maybe that’s the thing to revel most in - that love exists, that love is. Especially in a world where we tend toward selfishness or cruelty, where we don blinders and rush ahead without pause. For all our chaos, that we manage to find and hold fast to some kind of love… that’s the sort of thing worth raising a glass to.
I don’t really celebrate Valentine’s Day, but I can’t decide if I am happy or sad that such cards are no longer in circulation.
Valentines Day: perhaps the silliest of the recognized holidays, whether you think it’s silly and fun or silly and stupid. In my opinion, probably the best thing about Valentines day is fan-made nerdy Valentines, whether or not you’re actually giving them. So here’s more than fifty geeky valentines, some of which you can print, some of which you can buy, all of which you can enjoy and then have enough time to use later this month.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
When the chalky conversation hearts just won’t do, you should go with the geek love.
For those feeling sentimental this February, a little romance by gaslight.
